“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” - William Shakespeare, from ‘Romeo and Juliet”
Almost everyone has a nick name or two. Some are cute and innocent and inherited from a childhood habit. Some stick around for a long time, to the point where people forget the name on your birth certificate.
I had this, well I can’t really call him a friend, this boy that had a little crush on me in high school that my partner in crime and I enjoyed torturing, that eventually realized that I was just a fag hag and he was gay. Dude went by a pretty generic and forgettable first name. Sometime in the middle of highschool he started going by his equally generic and forgettable middle name. Eventually he started going by a two letter acronym with no relation to his name whatsoever. Too bad it wasn’t BJ. I just checked facebook, and he is still going by this acronym which origins will be forever shrouded in mystery.
The thing is, some nick names really really SUCK. Some nick names (usually self-christened) don’t make sense and don’t really catch on. Some nick names are unfortunate and awkward. And some names just are NOT meant to be shortened. My closeted but obviously gay friend’s nick name is an STD that is unfortunately associated with gays and my boyfriend’s name shortened is a brand of birth control. Like damn what if Gisele Bundchen’s friends all called her Gis for short? As in Jizz? As in semen? No one deserves that!
I read somewhere once that people create nick names or pet names for their loved ones to show closeness, and in a sense, ownership. I make nicknames for other purposes. Purposes like how you’re forgettable and boring, or I’m so much in love with you I can’t even call you by your real name. Here’s a short list of nick names I have used secretly for people over the years for various reasons: The Bard, Snocone, Gert, Whatshisface, Browz, Nerd Flirt, Bindi Man, The Goats, Dorina Man, Afro Kennedy, Bone Mama, That Asian Predator Guy, Blood Diamond, that’s all I can remember for now…
“Victoria”, Ms. Yeung if you’re nasty: You know who you are.
